Last Breaths
by Twilightlover1518
Summary: Edward Masen, a small boy living in the dreary town of Forks Washington has a terrible secret. His father, Edward Senior, constantly abuses him, resulting in several injuries, a broken heart and...a mental disorder? Full Summary inside R&R T Short HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Last Breaths**

**...  
**

_Edward _

_**...**  
_

_My name is Sarah_

_I am but three,_

_My eyes are swollen_

_I cannot see,_

_I must be stupid_

_I must be bad,_

_What else could have made_

_My daddy so mad…?_

_I wish I were better_

_I wish I weren't ugly,_

_Then maybe my mommy_

_Would still want to hug me_

_I can't speak at all_

_I can't do a wrong_

_Or else I'm locked up_

_All the day long_

_When I awake I'm all alone_

_The house is dark_

_My folks aren't home._

_When my mommy does come_

_I'll try and be nice,_

_So maybe I'll get just_

_One whipping tonight_

_Don't make a sound!_

_I just heard a car_

_My daddy is back…_

_From Charlie's Bar_

_I hear him curse_

_My name he calls_

_I press myself_

_Against the wall_

_I try and hide_

_From his evil eyes_

_I'm so afraid now_

_I'm starting to cry._

_He finds me weeping_

_He shouts ugly words,_

_He says it's my fault_

_That he suffers at work._

_He slaps me and hits me_

_And yells at me more,_

_I finally get free_

_And I run for the door._

_He's already locked it_

_And I start to bawl,_

_He takes me and throws me_

_Against the hard wall_

_I fall to the floor_

_With my bones nearly broken,_

_And my daddy continues_

_With more bad words spoken_

_"I'm sorry!" I scream_

_But it's now much too late_

_His face has been twisted_

_Into unimaginable hate_

_ The hurt and the pain_

_Again and again_

_Oh please God, have mercy!_

_Oh please let it end!_

_And he finally stops_

_And heads for the door,_

_While I lay there motionless_

_Sprawled on the floor_

_My name is Sarah_

_And I am but three,_

_Tonight my daddy…_

_Murdered me_

"Edward Anthony, where are you boy?"

I sometimes think that Sarah is the lucky one. I put down my old and worn secret book, and pushed it deep within the folds of my secret compartment.

_He will never find it there._

I scramble on my scraped and bloody hands and knees out of the tiny space and grab the small tray of food off the stove, grimacing painfully when I burn my hand on the hot surface. I dare not make a sound though. He will know if I did.

I hurry towards the large stairs and look up at them with a hopeless and fearful sorrow. I absolutely dreaded these stairs. For my small five year old body, it was nearly impossible to go up all three flights without collapsing—again.

"EDWARD!"

"Coming, Daddy," I called, though I doubt he heard me since he and his buddies were screaming and laughing so loud.

I was sweating and panting loudly when I finally reached the top of the too-long, too-high staircase. But I quickly composed myself. Daddy didn't like it when I showed weakness.

My scorched hand throbbed as it bled and scabbed over, but I didn't make a peep.

Daddy would be so proud.

I quickly ran to his room, setting down the large tray of hot goods and beer.

"Here, Daddy." I placed my hands behind my back, hoping he wouldn't notice my horrid burn.

One of his buddies suddenly started to laugh.

"What's wrong with your kid, Ed?"

What did he mean? Was I doing something wrong?

My father laughed loudly, as if it was an inside joke that only I didn't understand. With a greasy hand, he grabbed my frail arm and yanked me towards him, stuffing me under his armpit.

"Nothin' wrong with my boy, right Edward Anthony?"

I nodded mutely, even going for the academy award by forcing a bright smile on my face.

"Hmm, seems kinda frail and lanky, doesn't he? I mean, you aint even four yet, is you boy?" One of his stupid friends asked.

I wanted to keep my lips sealed, but my father quickly crushed that idea.

"Answer the man, boy!"

"No sir, I'm five," I squeaked, sounding like the scared little mouse I was. The room was suddenly shaking with roaring laughter.

"Ahh, that's enough," my father finally said, "Go on, Edward Anthony. Get out of here."

I quickly nodded and scrambled out the room, running – and tripping – as fast as I could to my room.

As soon as the door was securely shut, I ran to my small bed and cried, holding my hand tight against my chest. The pain was excruciating and being five, I wasn't good at handling such pain

."Momma," I whispered hoarsely into my hard pillow, "I tried to be careful, Momma. I tried…"

I don't know how, or when, but I was soon fast asleep, my young mind filled with things so cruelly explicit and violent even the toughest of people would cringe.

I gasped loudly as a large hand suddenly gripped my shoulder, bringing me to a stunned sitting position.

"D-Daddy," I whimpered, hiding my swollen hand behind my back.

"What were you screamin' so much about, boy? You want the neighbors to hear? And what are you hiding behind your back? You tryin' to steal food now, boy?"

I tried to shake my head no, but I was paralyzed with fear. I knew what was coming soon.

"Oh, now you're lying? I'll teach you to mess with me, boy!"

"No, no! No, I promise, Daddy! NO!"

Those were the last words I spoke before I succumbed to the deepest and blackest pits of Hell.

**/**

**/**

**/  
**

It was three in the morning, and Daddy was out; Probably getting drunk with his mean friends again.

I was sitting in the corner of my room, staring at the wall next to me, watching the shadows of night creep across the pitch black floors and windows, haunting me.

But, of course, I felt no fear. I felt safe within the blanket of shadows, burrowed deep within its chilling arms, relishing in the feeling of being cradled and rocked by the sharp claws of night.

I murmured my prayers, crouched low on my knees, hands clasped peacefully on my lap as I asked for forgiveness.

When I was finished, I rose and went into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind me. Most children would be frightened, standing in a dark, quiet bathroom, with mirrors to hide demons in and large shadows ready to grip you up into their poisonous talons.

But as a very wise person once said; "There's nothing to fear but fear itself."

So, no fear embedded itself within my body and I easily turned on the light. Grabbing my tiny stool, I stood on the hard surface with my scarred bare feet and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

It was not a pretty sight. That much I am comfortable saying.

But what can one expect after going through what I have earlier that evening.

_Flashback_

_I begged, pleaded, cried and screamed, but it was no use. He was too strong. With a grip so tight my skin acted as clay to his hard fingers, he slammed me into the wall, my skull bouncing painfully against the wall._

_I cried loudly, my head throbbing with a harsh headache. _

_"SHUT UP!" He roared, hitting and slapping me until I collapsed. He then began kicking and shouting at me, screaming harsh, mean words at me._

_"D-Daddy, I'm sorry!" I wailed, just wanting all the pain to stop and leave me be. After a particularly hard blow, my stomach heaved and I vomited bright crimson onto the hard floors._

_This enraged him. With fingers that trembled with pure rage, he unlatched the thick, leather belt that always left welts so deep it would take sometimes months to heal._

_With a whoosh of air, and a loud pop, my skin burst into flames of pain. _

_"Please, Dad, no, no, please!" _

_It went on like that for what felt like forever. My pleas were gone unheard and my shirt was ruined with my vomit, blood, tears and saliva. _

_When he finally left, I was unconscious and bleeding horribly, covered head to toe in black, blue, purple, yellow and red._

_End Flashback_

I hissed as I pulled each article of clothing from my body, the rough linens causing my mind to burn with numbing pain.

"Momma," I whispered as I continued to strip. "I tried, Momma. I did what you said. I didn't fight it, Momma. I didn't fight it."

The tub was full now.

I turned off the water and let the last piece of clothing drop from my tiny fingers. I didn't hesitate as I plunged myself deep within the dark abyss, the now bloodied waters muffling my gut-wrenching screams of sorrow.

**/**

**/**

**/**

**Okay, here's the first chapter of the reincarnation of 'Just call and I will save you'. Here's the full summary;**

**/**

**/**

**/  
**

_Edward Anthony Masen, a boy sadly in love with his own deceased mother never understood the world._ _Abused by his father, Edward Senior, he spends his day talking with his Mother. Over the years, he slowly develops a mental problem of believing that his mother is indeed real and that he has to constantly make her happy or proud or she will not love him. After a horrendous accident, Edward is left in the care of the Forks Hospital staff, more so Carlisle Cullen than anyone else. Carlisle feels for the boy, desperate to make him better. But is it worth it? Can the Cullens really save him, or will he fall? Yes, Bella is a Cullen and a vampire in this story. Reviews are extremely welcome and recommended, and flames are accepted if necessary. Rated T, though some intense matters may come up. _

_Thanks for reading so far_

_-Twilightlover1518  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Last Breaths**

**...**

_Edward_

_**...**_

I wish I had died that night, but God does not reward those who have done wrong. And I have surely done wrong. For what other explanation would there be as to why my father does not love me?

I am Edward Masen, a thirteen year old boy living in Forks, Washington—a small, damp and sometimes dark town on the Pacific North West.

I was not exactly your everyday teenager. I didn't go to school, I barely knew how to read and write and I was skeletally thin.

I had something short of an eating disorder, well, that's what my father says. Though I wouldn't exactly say that being kicked in the stomach until I vomited blood an eating disorder…

But despite that, it was true I couldn't keep anything down. Whether or not my father was home, I couldn't eat. Not even when he gave me a box of Saltine Crackers for a reward. I threw them up before I could even get half the box down.

But that's enough about that matter.

It was a rare day today. I was very happy.

Dad had gone out with his friends and I was left home alone, but that wasn't even the best part.

I found a book in the Attic when I was cleaning.

_Wuthering__ Heights_

The book had a very frail spine and was yellow with age and covered with dust. I even think a few pages were missing. But I didn't care. I was ecstatic to find new reading materials.

So after I washed my face and rubbed my teeth clean with my finger, (my toothbrush went bad long ago and germs aren't good for you. Momma says so) I combed my fingers through my hair and put on a sweat suit that made me seem even thinner than I really was and headed downstairs.

I passed the living room, the dining room, which was rarely used, the kitchen and finally, my personal heaven.

Beyond the kitchen, in what could almost be mistaken for as a pantry, there was a small door. The door was so small and faded, it blended in well with the faded paint of the walls, but I had good eyesight.

With a jiggle to the knob and a quick twist, the door came open and I could crawl right in and read to my hearts desire.

I didn't know what time of day it was by time I sat up and stretched, rubbing my eyes free of the hazy feeling of on-coming sleep.

"Edward Anthony! Where are you boy?"

Oh no! I scattered furiously, quick to get out of my hiding place, desperate not to let my father find it.

Perhaps Momma was telling God to be nice to me today, for Dad never found my spot, but I did earn myself a harsh whipping for lack of a good answer about my whereabouts when my father asked me about it.

Late that night, I nibbled on the long-time stale crackers and felt as my stomach cramped painfully within my stomach, the nausea making me dry heave several time before red came up again.

"Can you hear me, Momma? I tried, I did. Did you see, Momma? Did you see?" I murmured to myself, a large grin plastered on my bloody lips.

**/**

**/**

**/**

After saying my prayers and lying down on my hard bed, which was too small for me now, I dreamt of Momma. She was very pretty.

Her hair was a rich honey blonde; each curl pulled delicately in a silk ribbon behind her neck, and flowed gracefully down to her mid-back. Her eyes were the brightest and most loving emerald green one would ever see. Her heart shaped face held the deepest of dimples and most luminous smiles. Her lips and cheeks were the same rose color and eyelashes were very long.

I've never known Momma for long. She died with me in her arms, right after I was born. I had caused her to loose too much blood, and her heart gave out. But Momma would be proud of me now. I didn't show any pain. I never showed any pain. Momma would be so proud.

When I woke the next morning, I prepared breakfast and brought it up to Dad's room.

"D-D-D…" I took a deep breath. I cannot talk when I stutter. Momma doesn't like when I stutter. She says it's not good. "D-Dad, I-I-I—"

"Hush up, boy, with all that stuttering. You're a man! Now act like one!"

He shoved me out his room, sending me crumpling into a heap on the floor, my eyes wide with flushed anger.

I started stuttering horribly again, trying in a vain attempt to yell at him, but all that was heard were incoherent garbles and the door slamming in my face.

I sobbed harshly into my pillow, screaming out for Momma, but she never came. She never comes anymore. What had I done wrong? Did she not love me anymore?

Sitting up quickly, I began pinching myself. No, not regular pinching, but harsh, nail deep gashes in my flesh. I tore into it, making harsh marks on my skin as I pinched myself without mercy.

"Bad," I murmured to myself. "You're a bad boy, Edward. No food for you tonight. You hear me? No food!"

I went on like that for two years.

**/**

**/**

**/**

Four months after I turned fifteen, my Dad came up to me while I was scrubbing the kitchen floors. He got a rough hold on my arm and brought me to my feet, whispering harshly to me.

"Listen here, Edward Anthony. We have to go, so go upstairs right now and pack your bags. You understand me, boy?"

I only nodded, for I was now entirely incapable of producing real words. I only stuttered, and that most certainly wouldn't do.

So, I ran upstairs and got an old worn bag and filled it with the only clothes I had, which was only about three outfits. It didn't matter, none of them fit anyways. I stuffed a comb in with it and zipped the bag.

I had to dress properly, like I did on the very rare occasions I left the house. A large parka coat which was way to warm for the mid-fall air, a large baseball cap and dark sunglasses that hid the huge black eye that hasn't healed yet.

Yeah, that seems good enough.

I put the bag over my shoulders and ran down the stairs, ignoring the lingering pain in my right foot.

I nodded again, in a way that said 'I'm ready.'

He placed a finger over his lips, telling me to stay completely silent. I understood. Once the door was open though, it was all in fast motion.

"There! There they are, officer! Stop them!" Mrs. Spencer, a gray, elderly woman who was our closest neighbor by a full block.

My father pushed me into the backseat of the car, and rushed to get into the drivers side.

"Put that seatbelt on boy, now!" was his barking orders.

I quickly put on the seatbelt, completely overlooking the fact that he had not put on his.

"Stop right there!" The officer yelled. "You, stop!"

Despite all the things I've endured in all 15 years of my life, I didn't want my father to be caught. He would be sent to jail and I'd never see him again.

But, deep, deep down inside me…I wished the police officer would hurry.

My head snapped back sharply as we pulled horribly fast out the drive way, continuing on down the street.

Loud sirens blared in my ears as my father cursed loudly, going well over 80mph by now. It was dangerous to go that fast, especially since there are a lot of cars in this part of town and people could easily have an accident.

To this very day, I regret even thinking those things. I knew God hated me, and I knew Momma would be so disappointed. I should make it up to her later.

Still in fast motion, things seemed to blur over, or maybe it was just my glassy eyes. You ever hear someone say they had an 'out of body experience'? Well, it was one of those times.

I wasn't in my body anymore. I was looking down on everything, from high, high above.

A car, going almost as fast as my father, trying to make the green light completely failed to see what was going on to its side. My father, going way over 90mph couldn't put on his brakes and the police car chasing them had failed to notice the speedy car as well.

It was a mixture of crashes, thunderous booms and ear-piercing screams from the innocent bystanders from then on.

My father crashed that day. He crashed into the car in front of him and the police car in the back of us crashed into him.

By time my father's car stopped rolling, we were on our heads. Glass and smoke was everywhere and all I could hear was screaming.

I was lost in the sound. I knew that sound so well. It's the sound I made a lot. I made that sound before. And Momma made it too. I love Momma. She would be so proud. After this is over, I'll go visit her. I haven't visited her in a long time…

And then, there was heat.

The intense and searing heat engulfed me and my senses burned like charcoal in a grill. With a harsh gasp I am pulled back into my body. The heat is licking at my skin, and I feel completely helpless. Where was my father? Why was he not screaming, too?

With an aching neck, I turned my head towards the passenger seat and swallowed a scream. The windshield where my father's head was, was now broken and a large dagger-like piece of glass was logged deep within his skull, the sharp and bloody end sticking out the seat, missing my head by inches.

The sight was too much for me and I dry heaved. My head felt very light, almost airy on my neck and shoulders. My stomach really hurt.

Darkness wasn't far from consuming me, and I welcomed it. I loved the dark.

But a voice, soft as silk and smooth as velvet called to me. Was it Momma?

No, it was too real and deep to be Momma.

It was a man.

Oh, I hope he's not mad at me. Momma says I should always sit up straight and greet people when they come over the house. Oh, I hope he likes cookies. Momma makes great cookies.

I was consumed then, the fiery darkness completely taking over my senses as I smelled the sweet scent of Momma's cookies.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last Breaths**

**_... _  
**

I sat comfortably in a large chair, listening intently as Momma played the piano, something she always did when I was upset. I took a small bite from one of her delicious cookies and smiled at her back.

"Momma," I asked. "Why did father crash?"

The music stopped and she turned around on the piano bench, smiling softly.

"It was his time to go, baby. Please don't be upset with him, he loved you very much."

I was very confused. "No, Momma. He didn't love me. Did you see? I didn't make a sound, though. Did you see, Momma? Did you see?"

She giggled quietly. "Oh, I saw, my sweet boy. I'm very proud of you."

A large smile plastered itself on my face as I ate another one of her cookies. I enjoyed when Momma and I had time together. She always made the best cookies.

Suddenly, there was a voice. No, there were a lot of voices. I turned towards Momma, but she wasn't there with me anymore.

"Momma?" I called out, but I didn't get an answer. Where was my Momma?

It was bright. Everywhere was too bright, I couldn't see!

I cried out, wanting Momma back. Where was she? Did she not love me anymore? Why did she leave me?

"Shh, shh," a voice hushed soothingly. I blinked rapidly, panting heavily as I tried to understand.

"Shh, everything's okay."

"Momma," I croaked, unfathomable tears streaming down my face.

"No, I'm sorry, but your mommy's dead."

"Tanya!" Another female voice scolded. "That's mean!"

"So?" the one called 'Tanya' said. "It's the truth!"

I stopped listening. Where was I? Where did all these white walls come from? Why did it smell so sickeningly clean in here? Where was my father? Where was Momma?

So many questions, but I never got any answers.

Instead, I got stuck painfully in the arm with a long needle as I fell asleep to the horrid voice of "Tanya".

When I finally woke, I felt horrible. My arms, legs, chest, stomach, and pretty much all the rest of me hurt. My lips were chapped and I felt as if I had been chewing on rough cotton.

I groaned, but fell silent when I realized I wasn't alone.

"Ah hello there, Edward," a blonde-haired doctor with a voice like wind chimes smiled, "How are you?"

I stared at him, studying his face. Momma said to always be polite to people when they talk nicely to you, but something about that man made my stomach twist in knots.

Or was it my horrendous hunger?

"Hello there," I finally spoke up, hating the way my voice sounded. "I'm Edward. Have you seen my father? I best be getting home, now."

His face fell for a second before he took a breath and came to where I was.

"Edward, son—"

"Oh, I'm sorry mister, but I already have a father," I explained politely.

He blinked a few times. "Yes, but—"

"By the way, where's Momma? She won't be happy that I'm late for dinner. Oh yeah, where are my manners? I'm Edward."

His eyes darted around the room uneasily and I wondered if his son was late for dinner, too.

Finally, he left, but I was still very nervous. Momma hated it when I was late for dinner. I hope she isn't too cross with me though, I didn't mean to miss the bus home.

Or was it the train?

Later that evening, a black-haired doctor came in the room with a large tray of food and medicine.

"Here you are," she said. I stared at the large tray and felt my stomach twist.

"I'm sorry, I already ate. Didn't Momma tell you? Dinner ended a while ago," I said politely. "But I am truly sorry you must be a wonderful cook."

She looked flustered, her eyes wide. Was she not happy with me? Oh I hope she doesn't tell Momma.

She quickly left the room, but forgot the tray of food. Perhaps she was hard of hearing? I'd have to try again later, then.

I stared at the three triangles on the large gray rectangle. Each triangle was filled with different colors—brown, white and _red._

The brown was the meat, which made me feel extremely nauseous just looking at such a heavy food.

The white was the rice, bleached pale no doubt and looking very mushy and lumpy.

And last, the red was stewed tomatoes. A gruesome sight it was; all red and quivering, bright crimson juices leaking down each one, taunting me with its cruel, sick ways.

The food suddenly moved then, moving and meshing together, forming things. My eyes grew wide as the tomatoes pulled together into a large puddle of wet blood, so real I could smell the rusty saltiness that often led to my undoing.

The brown and white morphed together to create a tannish substance that formed two figures.

One figure held a large gun-like device, its head thrown back in a cruel cackle as the second figure bled to death on the ground, its mouth open unnaturally wide with despair.

I screamed loudly, throwing the tray off my lap as I began to shake violently, my stomach heaving painfully hard.

Lots of doctors rushed in then, their eyes wide with panic and fear. The blonde-haired doctor was with them. He barked some orders, but I couldn't hear over the roaring pain in my ears.

I began to convulse short after, a long stream of blood trailing down my chin from my dry-heaving throat as my eyes rolled to the back of my skull.

"He's having a seizure!" I heard one of the doctors exclaim.

A seizure…? Momma won't like that.

With an extra sharp jerk of my neck, I became still. I was out of my body again, watching everything happen from afar.

My body twitched and shuddered one last time before I succumbed to a harsh, black abyss. I watched as the doctors roared orders to each other and fussed over my limp and deathly pale body, but there were no worries.

I wasn't dead.

How could I be? I was here, I was watching this, I was aware.

But then again, who really knows? Perhaps I did die, perhaps that was my final moment, there, on the white hospital bed, bleeding and frothing from the mouth while only the whites of my eyes still showed themselves beneath the darkness of my eyelids.

I couldn't help but have one thought during all of this, though.

Momma surely would not be happy.

**_~Three months later~_**

"Good Morning, Edward," Doctor Carlisle said, smiling. I stared at him blankly, like I always did. His smile faded a bit and he sighed, checking my charts, as he always did.

"Hmm, you seem to be doing fine in social study as far as I can tell. You're talking more," he smiled again. "But I fear you have yet to gain any weight. What's the matter, son?"

I cringed and my eyes grew huge.

"No-o-o-o-o…" I gasped. "No, no…n-o-o-o-o…"

"No what, Edward? What's the matter? Can you please tell me?"

I shook my head back and forth harshly, poking my bottom lip out in a large pout. After several seconds I burst out laughing.

"No-o-o-o-o…," after taking a breath, I continued on giggling. "You already have a son, silly sir. Silly, silly, siiiilllllyyyy…"

He blinked a couple times, his lips parted a little in a confused way. I laughed even harder. And then, in a very low voice, I began to sing.

"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falllliiiiinnnnggg doooowwwwnnnnn! Ooh, I hope that Momma isn't disappointed in them. They knocked over London Bridge! HAHAHA!"

I stopped laughing then and began sobbing fitfully while Doctor Carlisle stared with huge, shocked eyes.

"Ooh no-o-o-o-o….! I knocked over London Bridge! I'm sorry, Momma! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'll fix it! No-o-o-o…!"

Unconsciously I began to scratch and pinch myself as I muttered, rocking quickly back and forth.

"Bad," I told myself. "Bad, Edward! You're bad! Bad, bad, bad! Momma doesn't like bad! No food for you tonight, you hear me? No food!"

I gasped as the strangely, yet soothingly cold hands of Doctor Carlisle tore my hands apart, one hand in each of his.

"Edward, stop it!" He thundered, looking like he was going to cry.

I stared glassily at him, blinking a few times. How did he get in the house? Did Momma let him in? I decided to ask.

"Oh, hello there mister," I smiled. "How did you get in the house? Does Momma know? She loves having visitors. Oh, where are my manners? I'm Edward, what's your name?"

Shaking his head, he dropped my hands and left the room, while I called out my goodbyes.

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

Doctor Carlisle came to visit me a week later. I had another one of those disgusting trays of food on my lap and I was staring at the soup, watching in amazement as the soup moved with my eyes, taking weird shapes and forms.

I gasped loudly as very beautiful lady followed in Doctor Carlisle. The soup took its original form, long forgotten as I stared at the beautiful woman.

Her hair was a soft caramel color, very thick and came down to her shoulders in pretty curls. Her eyes were very big, and a very nice golden brown color, just like Doctor Carlisle's.

She was perfect, and that angered me.

"Edward," Doctor Carlisle said, "I brought someone with me today."

I stared.

He continued. "This is my wife, Esme. I told her what a nice boy you were, and she's glad to finally meet you. Would you like to talk to her?"

I shook my head no and hid under my blanket. I didn't like meeting new people. Not while Momma wasn't home.

I cringed deeper into the fetal position I wasn't aware I was in when the cover was taken from over my head.

"Edward, come on now. No need to be shy."

I shook my head vigorously, whimpering.

"No-o-o-o…Momma says no-o-o-o…" I felt a tiny shift in movement before an icy hand placed itself on my arm. My eyes widened and a scream built up in my throat.

"Shh, sweetheart; There's no need to be afraid of me. I'm not here to harm you. Is Carlisle your friend?"

I hesitated before I gave a short nod, staring deep into her eyes.

"You know Edward," I haven't even noticed that the covers were no longer over my balled up body.

"I have a son at home. Actually, I have _two _sons."

I blinked. She has _two _sons?

"Really?" I whispered, completely forgetting about Doctor Carlisle and Momma and anything else that wasn't Esme.

"Mhmm," she smiled. "They love to play video games. Do you like to play?"

I shook my head no. "I like books."

Her eyes lit up as if someone had just switched on a bright light behind them.

"You do? Do you have a favorite?"

This was quickly getting out of control and Momma was getting very angry with me.

I stared down at my now trembling hands and remembered the burn that I received well over ten years ago. I began to pant.

I began rocking back and forth as heat engulfed my hand, the red-orange flames licking the flesh of my hand, the evil cackling ringing in my ears.

The scream I swallowed down suddenly burst through my lips and I started to rock harshly back and forth, crying out from the pain.

Faintly I could hear gasps and orders going around, more hands – warmer than the hands I was used to – holding and touching my charred flesh, the flames still burning hotly.

And then…nothing

I was floating. My body was cool, and I was light as air. I didn't need to breathe, or think or do anything. I was at peace.


	4. Chapter 4

**Last Breaths**

**...**

I woke up several hours later, my stomach cramped tight, my arms and legs numb. I was so very sleepy and I began to wonder why I opened my eyes at all.

"Are you alright, honey?"

I whipped around quickly, groaning loudly as my neck cracked.

Esme sat in the corner of the room, on a dark blue chair I've never even noticed before. She looked different, but then again, she looked exactly the same. I couldn't exactly say why.

I ached. I tried to move my arms, to stretch, but an uncomfortable tug stopped me. I looked over, my neck still aching slightly, noticing the many needles deep within my skin and flesh, pumping unknown substances into my pulsating veins.

I also felt something very weird, almost unnoticeable but not quite…_thing _down my throat. I could still talk, but very quietly. If I talked too much, I feared I might choke.

"Esssh…may," I slurred, feeling highly shameful for not having a better appearance while the Doctor's wife was over the house.

She smiled kindly, appearing by the bedside in a few long strides.

"Are you hungry, dear?"

I looked down to my swollen stomach and shook my head no. I couldn't eat. I was a bad boy and bad boys don't eat. Momma said so.

I sighed as she placed a cool hand on my cheek, the feeling of ice against my burnt flesh making it all worth it.

So distracted by the icy pleasure, I couldn't hold my tongue.

"Please, Edward, tell me the truth. I will not harm you, I promise. Are you hungry?" she asked again, softer, quieter.

"Mhmm," I whispered hoarsely, "So very hungry. It hurtsss…"

She was gone then. I blinked rapidly, highly confused.

But then, just like that, she was back. I jumped, but relaxed when I saw Doctor Carlisle was with her. Esme stayed back while Doctor Carlisle approached me, holding a big bag of runny-looking liquid.

I furrowed my eye brows, and as if he read my mind, he filled me in.

"It's a very healthy soup, just for you, Edward. You're going to like it and it will make you nice and strong."

He strapped the bag to something I couldn't name and after a short while, soup was suddenly down my throat. I gasped and spluttered, but it just went down.

"Relax, Edward, this is good for you," he said softly, ruffling the long reddish hair that reached down past my neck.

Once all the soup was gone, I felt the horrid feeling of immense nausea and horrid cramps.

I moaned loudly, clutching my stomach with my bandaged and needle-pierced hands. My gag reflex was going into over-drive again and I was suddenly heaving.

Vomit spilled from my mouth and down the paper hospital gown I was wearing. I missed the bowl on the side of my head completely.

When I finally emptied out my stomach completely, tears were streaming down my face and I was shaking almost uncontrollably.

"Oh my god," Esme cried, rushing from the room. I felt very bad for being so rude. Momma won't be pleased with me.

Doctor Carlisle looked very upset too, but he didn't run. Full of apologizes and new strategies on how to keep me fed and make me gain weight.

I was detached from the bed and literally carried like a baby into the bathroom. There, I was stripped clean, watching shamefully as I could see each and every one of my ribs, hip bones, ankles and sickeningly swollen torso. And to add to the lovely sight, large red, purple, yellow, black, blue and pretty much every color of the rainbow splotches painted themselves across every inch of my skin.

I stared at the ground as I began to sob again. I was placed in the shower, ignoring my extreme embarrassment.

I was cleaned off by Doctor Carlisle even though I wish Momma or Esme would've done it. When I was free of any traces of vomit and placed in a new gown, I resumed my position on a fresh bed, with fresh new seats, pillows and needles.

I stared at him as he placed the needles within my veins, exchanging the old bag with a new bag full of liquid.

Words were bubbling up in my throat and instantly spilled over.

"Doctor Carlisle," I whispered.

He turned quickly, his eyes slightly wider than normal. He seemed surprise I was talking to him, but I wasn't sure why. Momma said it was polite to talk to visitors, so I must've talked to him often.

"I'm sorry," I continued. "I didn't mean to be sick. I must be coming down with something. Please forgive me."

He bit his bottom lip as he finished attaching the bag, the fresh liquid oozing into my blood stream.

"Edward…I…," after a while, he finally sighed. "You're welcome."

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

It was another full month before Doctor Carlisle came up with a solution to keep food in my stomach. I would gag often, but other than that the food rarely came back up.

Having that information, I was fed constantly, and felt like a huge stuffed pig after I was finished my two bowls of soup and crackers. Momma was very upset with me.

She constantly reminded me how much of a bad boy I was, resulting in several doctors having to hold me down while Doctor Carlisle put thick gloves on my hands, stopping my self-inflicted punishments.

I thrashed and screamed through the whole thing, listening as Momma screamed with me, her usual green eyes literally red with hatred.

I was told never to talk to Doctor Carlisle or Esme again, but something was wrong with me. Every time they showed up in my room, I wanted to speak with them. Momma said they were poisoning me, but I didn't think so.

I loved them. They were my friends.

But I could not say the same about Doctor Tanya. She was very mean, very shallow-minded. Her eyes constantly changed color and she also wore tight clothing. Momma says that she's a demon, but I didn't think that was very nice. True, she was not someone you would want to depend your life on, but a _demon?_

I watched with tired eyes as Doctor Tanya (who I later found out was just a nurse) bustled around the room, muttering under her breath.

"Why are you upset?" I asked quietly, feeling so very small that day. I wasn't sure why. Most likely the loud thunderstorm outside that was putting down my mood.

She whipped around quickly, her long strawberry colored curls flying all over the place.

"What?"

I licked my dry lips and patiently repeated my question, though my voice was barely above a whisper. "Why are you upset?"

She blinked rapidly, her eyes going from a luminous dark umber to a light golden brown. Do all Doctors/Nurses have these golden eyes? I wonder…

"I'm not," she said stubbornly, "Why so curious all of a sudden, _boy?_"

"I'm not," I echoed her previous words. "You just seem very upset today. I thought you could use someone to talk too."

Momma hissed loudly in my ear, but I ignored it.

She blinked some more, looking around as if I was kidding her.

"Talk… with _you?_" she scoffed. "Please, honey, be serious. You're just a boy. What good are you to me?"

I frowned, not sure when I began smiling in the first place. I cast my eyes downward, turning my head to the left, opposite of her.

"I just thought…" I whispered, before cutting myself off.

I raised my gloved hand towards my arm before remembering the restriction. I dropped it again, my eyes welling with tears.

It was silent for a beat or two before her heels clicked towards the door.

"Look, kid," she said morosely, "You have your problems and I have mine, but they will never equal. Just worry about yourself and stop trying to act well because you aren't. You're sick and no matter how much you try to get over your little 'Mommy is real' act, you'll never change. Just like Kate…" she whispered the last part.

"Who's Kate?" My voice was growing faint. The door was already closed before I finished the sentence, and my eyelids were very heavy.

I fell asleep five minutes later, listening as, much like my voice before, my mother's voice got fainter and fainter.

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

My sixteenth birthday came and went. Well, that's how it felt to me. Doctor Carlisle found out about it somehow and celebrated the fact that I gained five pounds.

Esme baked a small cupcake and I choked half of it down before I felt so horrible I couldn't eat the rest. I also met the rest of the family. They were so strange, but I enjoyed myself.

**…**

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart," Esme said, beaming. On that day her dimples seemed deeper than ever.

I smiled warmly at her, brushing the long hair from my eyes.

The gloves had come off this morning, in honor of the "celebration". I didn't really know how to celebrate a birthday. I haven't had a birthday party in…sixteen years.

Doctor Carlisle came in shortly after Esme, but he wasn't alone. He had something short of a sheepish grin on his face as he led what looked like models into the room.

"Edward, these are my children. Remember I told you about them?"

I scanned over each of them and hid my face. The huge one that looked like he was going to crush me just by staring started to laugh and I shrunk deeper into my covers.

"He's shy, Emmett. Don't laugh at him," Esme scolded lightly as a loud 'Thwack!' was heard, followed by an 'Ouch, Rosie!'

I rolled into a ball as Doctor Carlisle pulled the covers from over my head, and sat me upright.

"Its alright, Edward, they didn't mean any harm."

I took another look at the strange family and went through their features one by one.

The first one, a tiny black-haired girl bounced excitedly, occasionally biting her lip with so much excitement. That one scared me.

The second was a blonde haired man, so much taller than the tiny ball of energy next to him. He looked kinda nervous and pained. Was he upset for some reason? I hope I could help out later.

Next to him was what looked like to be his female look-a-like, if he were ever to be a woman, which was just plain weird if you ask me, but no one did, so I guess it doesn't matter, does it?

She was so very beautiful, but she looked very spiteful, very mean. I quickly passed her and went to the next.

The big guy, with dimples like Esme was grinning from ear to ear, but he just scared me so I went to the next and last person.

I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my lips.

Everything else in the room melted away when I stared into the bright gold eyes of the most gorgeous creature alive.

Soft, wavy, rich and thick brunette hair curled down to her mid-elbow, framing the creamy ivory skin of her bare arms and face. Her face was heart shaped, with a cute button nose and the fullest and darkest lips I've ever seen. They were coated in a natural red and looked almost dangerous.

Though her clothes were modest, her body looked absolutely perfect.

Am I drooling? No, thank God.

I hadn't even noticed that Carlisle had begun introducing them.

"This is Alice," he placed a hand on the tiny one's shoulder.

"Jasper," He ruffled the blonde haired man's hair as he passed him making both of them smile.

"Rosalie," he didn't touch her, which I did not blame him for. She seemed like she would melt him with a glare if he did.

"Emmett," the huge scary one smiled brightly, his perfect too-white and slightly pointed teeth showing. My eyes got a little bigger.

Doctor Carlisle moved on quickly.

"And this," he placed both hands on top of the angel's shoulders, smiling. "Is our youngest daughter Bella."

Bella…even her name was perfect.

I smiled a little in her direction but was shocked to see her eyes narrow dangerously as her lips fixed in what seemed like a permanent sneer.

I dropped my gaze, raising my hand to my arm, but Esme captured my hand instead, sending me a bright smile.

I guess it was safe to say the festivities began after that. I got to talk to everyone except Rosalie and Bella, but I was still happy.

Alice wasn't as scary as I thought, and neither was Emmett. In fact, they were my favorite. They told lots of funny jokes and were willing to talk about anything I wanted.

Nearing the end of the night, Esme brought the cupcake with one candle in it, smiling brightly. I stared at the frosted creation, highly confused as to what I was supposed to do.

Emmett laughed loudly and told me to blow on the flame, which was slowly starting to take shape before my eyes.

I blinked a few times and looked over to Doctor Carlisle, who nodded in approval. With a small smile, I puffed up my cheeks and sent a harsh gust of air over the tiny pastry.

Emmett couldn't stop laughing as I hurried to stop it from falling over and making a huge mess.

Alice clapped her hands and showed me my present. I never had a present before, besides that one time I received crackers. I didn't really like that present much. It hurt my stomach.

I stared highly confused at the pair of scissors in her hand, going from the shiny utensil to the huge eyes of what I now call a pixie.

"They're to cut your hair, silly!" she squealed, bouncing on her heels.

I reached up and placed a hand in my hair, wincing at the tight tangles I tried to pull my fingers through.

"Umm…" I murmured, not really sure what to say. It had dawned on me then that I hadn't heard from Momma all night. Did she not want to celebrate with me? My face fell.

"Alice, let him eat first," Doctor Carlisle murmured to the pixie.

I dropped my hand and stared at the cupcake again, trying hard not to grimace.

"Go on, Eddie," Emmett thundered. I hated that nickname. When I didn't move, he tried again.

"Come on, man, you're not getting any younger! And if you don't eat it, I will!" Rosalie smacked him again.

I smiled and hid my face as I tasted it.

It was the most delicious thing in the world. But unfortunately, my stomach didn't agree with me. It groaned and rumbled and I fought so hard not to be sick.

"Hey, um…is it normal for him to be so green?" Emmett asked bluntly.

"Emmett—"Esme was cut off by my horrid gagging. I pushed the cupcake away as my stomach heaved several times.

Nothing came up, as usual, since I was now on several medications, but it still hurt. Rosalie backed away in extreme disgust and Bella shrunk in the corner. Alice was flitting around, trying to help and Jasper stayed next to Bella.

I was extremely embarrassed.

Tears welled in my eyes as Doctor Carlisle tried to soothe my stomach and me. When it was all over I was very tired and slumped down into the bed.

"I'm sorry, Esme," I wheezed. "It was delicious but—"

Emmett laughed. "Delicious? Dude you practically barfed up your lungs! I didn't know Esme was _that _bad of a cook!"

I hid again as another 'Thwack' was heard throughout the room. After being reassured that Esme wasn't upset with me and an all around apology from both Emmett and me, Doctor Carlisle started to clean up.

"Alright, we should really let Edward rest, guys. I'm pretty sure he's had enough excitement for one day."

Esme placed a kiss on my forehead before she stepped aside and Doctor Carlisle made sure I was extra comfortable.

Alice flitted over and gave me a huge squeeze that I would've never imagined coming from such a small pixie. Emmett showed me how to bump fists and Jasper and I waved to each other.

Rosalie just gave a curt and somewhat rude nod but I smiled.

"It was nice meeting such a beautiful woman, Rosalie, but it would've been nice if you actually talked."

She looked like she would've been blushing, but no color stained her cheeks. And Emmett's guffaws could be heard ten miles away.

All that was left was _Bella._

My heart increased just thinking the name. And then, as if she could hear my thoughts, her head snapped towards me, her eyes glassy and full of fire.

I instantly dropped my gaze. When I looked up again, I was completely alone.

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

That same night I had a strange and disturbing dream.

**_…_**

_It was a very dark and cloudy day. No rain fell, but the smell of it was thick in the mid-afternoon air. Lots of people, hundreds of them, all dressed in black shuffled their feet down a long path, their faces full of sorrow and despair._

_I myself was amongst these people, wandering aimlessly and hopelessly confused. What was going on? Where was everyone going? Why so much black?_

_It seemed like forever and a day by time we reached the end of the path. It was a strange scene indeed, for there was nothing but a huge black arch over the already pitch black scenery._

_A person, dressed in a black cloak-like dress with no face cleared their throat and stood behind a large pew._

_The faceless…thing opened its mouth to speak, but all that came out were incoherent garbles. I began to back away, but found I couldn't. Something hard, something strong like an invisible force was holding me down and I couldn't move._

_More faceless beings began to swarm around, garbling and grunting in a way that made goose bumps rise on my arms and spasms of fear shoot down my spine._

_It was all different not a minute later. It seemed to be a regular funeral, which explained the black and despair. But who's funeral was it? _

_I shoved through the people, not worrying about my extreme rudeness. My gut was telling me something and whatever it was, it surely wasn't pleasant._

_Once I was at the front of the – for lack of better words – group, I could see everything clearly. _

_A petite, almost small woman with honey blonde hair was bent over a casket, sobbing. And a tall man, with red-brown hair was trying to comfort her, but looked to be failing miserably._

_I knew exactly who these people were._

_"Mom, Dad!" I called loudly, hoping to get their attention. _

_No such luck._

_ They still stayed in their current positions, totally oblivious to my sudden appearance._

_And then, the truth hit me like two tons of bricks. _

_This was a funeral…and my mother and father were here…then…who passed? _

_I ran up to the open casket, stumbling almost drunkenly with realization. As I stared down into the hard cradle, I realized the horrifying truth to my prediction._

_There, deathly pale and horribly bony, hair dark brown with gore and dried, caked in blood and covered in scars, bruises and horrid splotches laid…_

_Me._

_I screamed, backing away from the monstrosity. Everything around me was spinning and I felt horribly ill. _

_"Be a good boy, Edward," I heard my mother whisper, staring directly into the eyes of the body I was truly in. "Or who knows what might happen…"_

_With that, she drew a bloody dagger from behind her back, positioning it over the dead Edward's un-beating heart._

_"NO!" I roared, but it was too late, with a swift motion, she plunged it deep into his heart. I stumbled, crushing pain swirling all around me. I was collapsing, holding my chest as hot crimson spilled all over—drowning me. _

_..._

I woke screaming and clawing at every piece of exposed skin I could. My eyes rolled around, unseeing and out of control. It all seemed so real, how could I recover from that?

Several doctors rushed in, having to practically wrestle me down to inject morphine in my system, making me black out again.

**_…_**

The next morning I decided to tell Doctor Carlisle about my horrendous dream.

I was having soft scrambled eggs that morning since it was easy to digest and chew and they didn't resurface.

"Good morning, Edward," Doctor Carlisle said, "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I replied, forking some more eggs into my mouth. He beamed.

"Can I tell you something, Doctor Carlisle?" I asked quickly, afraid of the subject being changed and forgetting my task.

"Of course, Edward, what is it?"

"I…I had a dream last night and…well, um...—"

"Did this dream frighten you, Edward?"

I hesitated, biting my lip.

"It's alright, Edward, you don't have to be ashamed. Did the dream frighten you?"

I let out a soft sigh and nodded. "Yes."

He did the usual routine of checking my charts, vitals, weight, needles, etc. while I talked to him.

By the time I was finished I was fighting tears.

"Have you ever had any dreams like that, Doctor Carlisle?" I asked softly.

"Well…um…n-no, I haven't had dreams like that for a while," he answered quickly—almost nervously.

There was a short conversation about how proud he was that I was eating on my own before he left to go check on his other patients.

"I'll come back later to check on you, okay?"

I nodded, scribbling random things on the pad of notebook paper he gave me. It was fun, but really had no meaning. I wanted my drawings to have meaning.

So, putting down the pen and grabbing a pencil instead, I flipped the paper to the clean side and began working.

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

I jumped almost violently and let out a gasp when a sweet voice started talking, snapping me out of whatever trance I was just in.

"That's beautiful, Edward," Esme said, beaming.

I looked down at the pad and saw a really crooked, uneven, lop-sided, and hideously inaccurate picture of Esme.

I scowled and threw the pad and pencil at the bottom of the bed.

"No its not, it's horrible," I grumbled. The bed moved a little as she sat down next to me, placing a kiss on my forehead and an arm around my shoulders.

"No, honey, don't be discouraged. I love it. Can I take it home with me?"

I looked up at her in shock. She loved it? She wanted to take it home?

"Really?" I asked almost excitedly.

"Of course," she said matter-of-factly, "It's a very beautiful drawing. And you know, I'm pretty sure no one else in the world has a drawing like it. I'll be the first one to have a drawing from the famous Edward Masen."

I smiled shyly and felt my face heat up. I laid my head down on her hard shoulder, enjoying the feel of her mysteriously icy skin through her sweater.

"I love you, Mom," I whispered, feeling very sleepy all of a sudden.

Something short of a very soft gasp escaped her lips. I smiled a little as I went under, also enjoying the feel of her lips pressing down gently on my forehead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Last Breaths**

**...**

It was five weeks before my 17th birthday and Carlisle promised that he'd bring his family to see me again.

I was walking a lot now, and have gained a total of twenty-five pounds and something short of a mop on my head. I guess it helped that I loved Esme cupcakes and never combed my hair.

I drew a lot, especially when I knew Esme was coming to visit. One time, I drew so many pictures my hand was hurting for the rest of the day.

Momma never visited anymore, and I haven't heard from her either. I guess she didn't love me anymore, but it didn't matter. I had a new Mom and several best friends, including Doctor Carlisle.

I didn't need a lot of needles anymore and my many injuries have healed. I was able to give myself my own showers now.

I was eating some French fries and doodling when a loud thunder clap that could only be Emmett's laugh sounded throughout the room.

"Hey, Eddie boy," he thundered. "What's up?"

I bumped fists with him and shrugged, chugging down my fries as fast as I could. They were the best food in the world besides Esme's cupcakes.

"Woah, dude, you sure you can eat like that? Hahaha last time you almost had a hysterectomy." He guffawed.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes, stuffing two fries in at once.

"Gross," Rosalie sneered. I laughed and got a handful of the skinny potatoes.

"Want some, Rose?" I taunted, waving them near her face while she turned away disgustedly.

Emmett thundered some more.

"Edward!" Alice squealed, almost literally squeezing the breath out of me.

"Pixie!" I squealed, mocking her high voice, but all in good fun.

She hit my arm and I pretended to be wounded.

"Ow! Esme, Alice hit me!"

Laughter filled the room. Alice, however, only smirked, a devilish glint in her eyes as she stared at my hair, which was resting in harsh tangles on my collar bone.

"What's she doing…?" I murmured, fearing if I took my eyes off of her she'd try to kill me in my sleep.

Jasper shrugged. "I'm not taking any part in this, sorry Edward."

I grimaced.

"Oh, no worries, Eddie – I grimaced harder – its just a little…_makeover." _

Cue horror music.

"No."

"What do you mean 'No'? Edward, trust me, by time I'm done with you, you are going to be the hottest guy on earth! Well, besides my Jazzy."

I faked gagged and Rosalie smacked Emmett for laughing like a maniac.

So, needless to say, I was dragged into the bathroom and got washed, pinched, shampooed, conditioned, moisturized, shaved, dressed and completely tortured for a full two hours before the crazy pixie let me go.

"Alright, I have done it! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the new, improved, and totally hot Edward!"

I shyly stepped out, dressed in normal slacks and a button down, shaved, hair cut and combed.

"Wow, Alice went all out!" Emmett laughed.

"Oh, you're so handsome," Esme gushed. Everyone else agreed, except Bella, who was still oddly in the corner, fidgeting with a golden bracelet that was on her wrist.

I hung my head as color embarrassingly flushed my face.

"Ah, ah, ah," Alice chirped, placing a small hand under my chin and raising my head high. "Show it off! Don't be embarrassed! You look hot! Doesn't he Bella?"

My heart skipped a beat. All heads turned towards Bella, who glared icily at Alice. After a few moments, Alice asked again, sounding very irritated.

"I said; _doesn't he, Bella?_" She growled. With something that sounded close to an animalistic snarl, Bella stood and walked out the room, slamming the door.

My face never felt so hot. Alice huffed heatedly and stormed from the door, followed by Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Esme.

"Don't worry, buddy," Carlisle reassured, "She'll come around soon. She's shy, just like you."

I bit my lip and sat back down on my bed, doodling idly. When I heard the door close I sighed and tossed the pad at my feet, staring up at the ceiling.

I admit, my feelings were hurt, but what could I expect from someone so…_perfect? _I mean, look at me. I'm not that good looking, I'm something short of a schizophrenic and I used to be a slave to my own father.

Yeah, that'll land me a date with Bella. Not.

After a while, I became very bored and decided to just get over my annoyance and draw some more.

After what felt like five minutes Doctor Carlisle came in holding my dinner tray. I got to eat more than soup for dinner now, so tonight was a hamburger.

I quickly took a bite out of it and had to fight the urge to stuff the whole thing down my throat in that moment.

I officially love food.

"Wow, Edward, that's amazing," Carlisle suddenly gasped, looking down at my lap, where my drawing pad lay peacefully.

I flushed all sorts of colors, hurriedly trying to stuff it under the covers. I swallowed the chewed food in my mouth and quickly tried to deny it.

"It's not that good, I mean…she's much prettier, um, no, I mean…uh…" I turned a darker shade.

I stared down at the sketch of Bella, her hair shaded in with the gray pencil, just like her lips and smooth, perfect eyebrows.

"Don't be embarrassed, buddy. You know, I bet if you showed this to Bella, she'd love it."

I snapped my head in his direction, my eyebrows raised.

"Really, you think so? Nah, she'd probably hate it and leave agai—" I cut myself off quickly, covering my face with my hands in a desperate attempt to hide all my embarrassment.

Doctor Carlisle chuckled and urged me to finish my dinner while he checked me over for the night.

After dinner and a glass and a half of water, I succumbed to sleep.

**_…_**

_I was running. But everything was going way to fast to be normal. And the strange thing was, even though I was running really fast, I could still see everything clearly. Like…like I wasn't running at all._

_It was very bright and the air smelled sweet. Even in my dreams I wonder how such things are possible, since in dreams such senses like smell and taste should be near impossible. _

_Lots of wind blew, but I wasn't chilled. It seemed as though cool temperature didn't affect me in this dreamy state. _

_I ran faster, faster, impossibly fast. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to get there—fast. _

_And then…there was fire; A harsh, crackling branding fire in my throat, choking me with its fiery grip._

_I gasped, wheezed, cough and spluttered, but it didn't cease. I was desperate for water. I looked around frantically, but I could only see trees and thick vines. _

_The burn was slowly tearing me apart, and I was so thirsty it hurt. But then, a breeze passed by my face, ruffling my now short and spiky hair. _

_What was that? That…that sweet, tangy, mouth-wateringly delicious smell? I had to have it. _

_I was suddenly racing again, though I had no recollect of my brain even telling my feet to move in the first place. It was a short while later – since dreams have no patience to draw things out whatsoever – that I found the source of the amazing smell._

_But I was confused, and somewhat disgusted. There was no sweet juice or pitcher of water. All that stood there was a…mountain lion._

_I furrowed my brows, trying to step back in fear of getting its attention. But my feet were rooted to the ground—I couldn't move. My throat burned like charcoal while I stared, frightened by the huge beast._

_But then, something else strangely happened._

_Bella, clad in nothing but a white gown stepped from the far shadows. _

_"Edward," she whispered, though it sounded loud and clear to my ears, "Go ahead, go to it."_

_She motioned to the lion, making me so full of confusion the burn almost didn't matter anymore._

_"I can't," I called back softly. Was she insane? Did she not see the difference between me and that beast? _

_"Go to it, Edward, go to it. You need it." _

_She repeated those words over and over again, as if her voice was a broken record that just kept on going and going._

_And then, my feet were moving, not as fast as before but normally, or rather, humanly fast towards the large monstrosity._

_The dream changed then. I was down on my knees, my throat coated in something deliciously hot and soothing and the lion was now dead. I began to shake, blinking rapidly in confusion as I stared at the carcass._

_"What did I do?" I whispered hoarsely. "What did I do?" _

_Bella simply smiled and turned away, leaving me confused and oddly…satisfied._

**_…_**

I woke up sweating, confused and oddly thirsty.

I didn't get anymore sleep that night, and was very tired by time Doctor Carlisle came by with breakfast.

"I had another dream last night," I said, staring at the ceiling. My fingers were clasped together tightly, and my eyes burned from lack of blinking.

"Really?" he asked, checking my charts. "What was it about?"

In a hushed whisper, I pushed out the word that has been bothering me since before the crack of dawn;

"Vampires."


	6. Chapter 6

**Last Breaths**

**...**

Shock.

That's all that registered on the pale Doctor's face.

"W-What?" he spluttered.

"Vampires," I repeated quietly, now watching his every move. He stumbled, stuttered, reeled and finally, chuckled.

"That's some dream," he said, "What…uh, what happened?"

And so, I began to explain. By the end of it he looked even paler than he normally was, if that was possible. I blame the rain, personally.

"What does it mean, though?" I finally blurted, tearing the toast into tiny bits unconsciously.

He turned his back to me, fumbling over something I couldn't exactly see. I ripped off another piece and actually put it in my mouth. When he finally turned back around, I was done with the whole piece of toast.

His almost horrified demeanor was calm and collected.

"I believe it means you have a great imagination," He smiled. "Why don't you finish your breakfast now, hmm?"

I nodded and took a sip of orange juice, secretly watching through my eyelashes as he walked out the door, sighing in relief.

Something was definitely up.

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

Today was the day.

I was officially 17.

Hooray. And I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible.

"Happy Birthday, Eddie boy," Emmett roared, laughing at my constant wincing and pained ears.

"Thanks, Emmy," I retorted, chuckling at his expression. Rosalie tried to hide her smile, but I noticed anyways.

"It's alright, Rose," I called over to her, "Your face isn't going to crack open if you laugh."

Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and Esme all laughed, much to Rosalie's annoyance. Even though I tried not to, I turned towards Bella, watching as she fiddled almost nervously with her pony-tail holder, not the slightest bit amused.

_Just talk to her, Edward, _I mentally prepared myself.

"H-Hey, um…Bella," I called; my heart thrashing harshly against my rib cage. I talked to her! What do I say if she answers?

She turned towards me, her eyes wide with shock. She's probably thinking how foolish and stupid I am for talking to her. She probably only talks to and dates good looking guys.

In other words; not me

"What?" she finally snapped.

Even angry, her voice was sheer perfection—so smooth, so light…so _beautiful._

I began to stutter, but quickly shut my mouth and took a deep breath.

"I-I…uhh…I-I-I made you something," I rushed out the last part, my face heating to almost melting point.

Everything and everyone was deadly silent, even – strangely – Emmett was quiet, probably enjoying the show.

I looked through my eyelashes to search her expression. There was none.

I knew it, she hated me.

My fingers twitched but I just tapped them lightly against the covers, trying not to look stupid but failing miserably.

"W-what is it?" a silk voice suddenly whispered unsurely. I snapped my head up, my eyebrows raised in surprise.

"O-Oh, um…just…it's just a drawing. Its not very good but I just like to draw and well, I just you know, drew it for you, but its not very good because—"

I was cut off my pathetic rambling by the tinkling pixie clamping a hand over my mouth, giggling delightedly.

"Oh, that's so adorable! You have to see it, Bella, please?" Pixie pleaded, releasing the most adorable puppy dog pout I've ever seen. I believe my heart even melted a little just looking at her.

"Alice," she hissed.

"It's okay, you don't have to, it's not good anyways," I murmured softly through Pixie's cold hand.

"What?" Alice asked confusedly, her eyes still big and bright with excitement.

"I said, it's not good anyways, you don't have to, Bella. I understand," I murmured, folding my legs into a pretzel, my fingers now incredibly itchy.

"No," she said quickly, "I don't mind. Where is it?"

I couldn't speak. I was too ecstatic. I pointed to the end of my bed, surprised that my finger wasn't shaking.

Alice bounced and clapped her way over to Jasper, who I now notice was smirking in my direction. My face burned again.

A soft gasp filled the room, followed by silk.

"You made this?" she asked quietly.

I nodded, chewing the skin off my lip. "Yeah…so um…do…do you uh…like it?" I asked quietly, the itch in my fingers slowly fading.

Her eyes, soft and almost caring bored into mine, all her gratitude practically screaming at me just by that one look. Our gazes were now locked for what seemed like forever. Well, that is until I was almost given a heart attack by Emmett's thunderous voice.

"All right!" He cheered, "Bella boo has a boyfriend! It's about time!" Leaning over the railing to my bed, he spoke in a low, serious and deep New York accent.

"Now Edward, I expect you to take care of our little Bella boo here. We expect her home no later than 11 o clock sharp! And also, make sure you guys…you know, cover up." He winked and waggled his eyebrows and I wanted to die.

"EMMETT!" Everyone hissed, all the girls smacking him hard upside the head and arms.

"OW!" He hollered, pouting like a two year old who was denied candy while Rosalie shoved him out the room.

"Sorry, Edward," Rose murmured, closing the door harshly behind her.

Everyone except a semi-fuming semi-embarrassed Bella and Carlisle left after the little escapade, promising to come back later.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Carlisle said, "Sometimes Emmett gets a little carried away. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm."

Making sure everything was fine and I was comfortable enough, Carlisle left, leaving only Bella.

"I'm sorry about my annoyingly obnoxious brother, Edward," she finally murmured, barely loud enough for me to hear.

"It's okay," I retorted, "It was nothing that bad—just typical Emmett."

We both chuckled softly before an awkward silence fell heavily over us.

"So…" I stuttered out, "H-How is it?"

"How's what?"

"Having a family," I whispered. "Having siblings?"

She bit her plump lower lip and stared at the ground. Did I say something wrong? Was I being too straight-forward? Did I even know what straight-forward meant?

Well, I knew the answer to the last one—no.

"Well…" her voice cracked a little before she cleared it, "It's nice, I guess. But it can get annoying, too." She chuckled, "Especially with a huge pushover like Emmett around."

I smiled. "Is he as bad as Alice at home?"

"No-o-o," she laughed. "It doesn't even come close."

We both laughed again.

"So…um…h-how did…you know…e-end up...—"

I cut her off.

"You mean how I ended up being an anorexic, bulimic and schizophrenic vegetable in the hospital?"

My bluntness must've taken her by surprise. She tripped over her words, blinked rapidly and chewed on her bottom lip.

Finally she murmured out her response. "Y-Yeah, that."

I simply shrugged. What could I say that wouldn't make her run from me screaming; for her not to call me a disgusting freak or a weirdo or a liar and never talk to me ever again…? Could I seriously risk our first conversation ever to go downhill so fast?

"Things happen," I murmured, "It's as simple as that."

As soon as the words left my mouth, the awkwardness became unbearably thick. I had to think, and fast.

"So, um…," What could I say? "How old are you?"

Oh yeah, that's not lame at all. ..

"Seventeen," she said quickly, but then backtracked, "I-In September. I mean, my birthday is in September. I'll be seventeen then."

"Oh."

We both bit our bottom lips and smiled.

"Well, I'd better be going, Edward," she said, "The family's waiting. But, thanks again for the drawing it was very sweet of you."

_Beep…beep…beep_

My heart monitor was getting faster and faster as was my breath as she slowly leaned forward.

_Beep…beep, beep, beep…_

Her lips were inches away.

_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!_

She chuckled softly and placed a sweet feather-light kiss on my cheek instead, though I feel how tense she was.

"Good night, Edward."

I stuttered out a poor excuse of a reply, but she smiled anyways, closing the door softly behind her.

**_/_**

**_/_**

**_/_**

I couldn't believe it. The day was finally here.

I was finally being released from the hospital. After two long years and several months I was finally being released at 125 pounds and completely healthy.

I couldn't be more ecstatic if I tried.

"Good morning, Edward," Doctor Carlisle greeted, his smile almost as big as mine.

"Can I go now?" I asked excitedly, "Oh, I'm sorry. Good morning. _Now_ can I go?"

He laughed. "Not yet, we have to run one more physical test before you're detached."

I huffed, annoyed.

"Can we just skip it and say I passed? I wanna go _now!_" I sounded so much like a whiny two year old…or Alice.

He laughed harder. "No, Edward, that wouldn't be fair. And I don't want anyone thinking I'm giving you special treatment just because you're going to be living with me soon."

I grinned from ear to ear and drummed my fingers rhythmically against my drawing pad to distracted and excited to draw on it.

"When's Ali coming?" I asked as he shined a bright light in my eyes, checking my vitals.

"Very soon, buddy. Everyone should be here soon. Oh, but Esme isn't coming today, she's fixing your 'Homecoming' meal."

"Is it hamburgers?" I asked. I adored hamburgers.

"No," he chuckled, "But I'm sure you'll love it."

"We're here!" A sing-songy voice squealed in a voice impossibly high.

I held my arms opened wide and the black haired ball of energy slammed into them, squeezing the life out of me.

"Ooh, I'm so-o-o-o excited, Edward! I can't believe you're actually staying with us!" She squealed. "Now I can have a brother who doesn't only like video games and Rosalie!"

I laughed.

"Oh yeah, it's gonna be fabulous, girlfriend," I joked, mocking her soprano voice. She shoved me arm and I laughed harder.

I was fully dressed in a sweat suit already, but Alice was never satisfied unless I was wearing one of her many "creations", so I was shoved into the bathroom and re-dressed into some jeans, and a layered tee shirt. I was also shaved, combed and pinched into what she would call "Perfection."

When I stepped from the bathroom I slipped on some sneakers and got bombarded by Emmett, who was chatting fifty miles a second.

"Woot, I'm gonna have a new lil' bro! This is gonna be so AWESOME! We can stay up all night, watch scary movies, play video games, make popcorn, swap some of our many manly stories and in the morning, I'm making waffles!"

"Emmett, he's staying for good, not coming over for a slumber party," the most gorgeous voice in the world said sarcastically.

I smiled in her direction, but she didn't return it. Instead, she looked away, a huge frown plastered on her lips as she fidgeted nervously.

Woah, I did something wrong already? Goodness, I'm never gonna get a chance with this girl.

I turned away and went over to Rosalie, who was also fidgeting, but – unlike Bella – she was in front of the mirror, trying to fix her hair.

"You know, Rose," I said casually, leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. "I have a solution to all your problems."

She turned around, her vainly perfect golden eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?"

Stepping within the restroom facility, I placed an arm around her cold shoulders and pulled her with me, walking into the main room, and sneakily away from the mirror.

"Okay work with me here for a second. I mean, think about it. You're a beautiful woman, right? Of course you are, you know that, I know that, Emmett knows that, the world knows. Okay, moving on," I started to take on a New Yorker accent, some of Emmett's crazy ways rubbing off on me.

"But it seems as though you could use something…mmm, I don't know, _betta?" _

"Better? What do you mean _better?_" Uh oh she was getting mad.

"Take your hair for instance," I lifted a curly lock of sunshine off her shoulders.

"What's wrong with my hair?" she fumed.

"Nothing, Rosie, nothing, which is exactly my point, here doll face. Nothing's the matta with your hair, which is why I'm standing here, wondering why you, of all people here are wasting your precious time standing in front of that one-way glass when you, my dear, could be on a runway? Hmm?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

"Seriously?" she asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Psh, of course, you could. Would I ever lie to you? Now, get out of my bathroom before I get Emmett to carry you out okay? Okay we good, then? Yeah? Okay, great!" I patted her on the shoulders and went into the bathroom to do my business, listening to the thunderous guffaws from the entire family (minus Rosalie) on my small performance.


End file.
